Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Abby questioning my manhood

Due to potential objectionable content, parental discretion should be used before reading this post aloud to children.

This evening Miriam, Luke, Abby and I were downstairs relaxing. Miriam was putting together an extremely difficult 1,000 piece puzzle. Lukey boy (who I now affectionately call Ruke, it is important to say it with hint of a dog bark) was chilling out playing with his robotic monkey (a monkey which scared Abby to tears when she was 6 months and still bothers her to this day). Abby was performing her repertoire of acrobatics on, around, and under her slide. I was relaxing by organizing ... so I am kind of anal and slightly goofy ... big deal.

At one point in her acrobatics, Abby said, "Daddy, watch this!!" She wanted me to see her going down the slide backwards. Of course, I have already seen her do this 100 times but 101 isn't going to hurt anything. After completing her death-defying feat, Abby looked at me and asked, "Daddy, can you do it?" Now, on occasion, I do slide for her enjoyment (sliding is fun ... just not on a 4 feet high slide ... although I have found some ways to make it interesting). However, this time I was on a roll organizing place mats, napkins, and table cloths (which Miriam loves and I keep trying to get rid of) so I said, "No thanks Abby."

Abby challengingly replied, "Do you have a penis daddy? cause I do." Now I don't think she meant it this way (a 2 and 1/2 year old can't taunt like this can she?) but it sure sounded like she was accusing me of being scared to go down the slide backwards. Miriam and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. I mean seriously, guys get in fights over this sort of taunt. Many men (myself included), have done some pretty stupid stuff because someone said, "I bet you don't have the ????? to do that!" For the record, I did not teach her this. Aunt Kak can be thanked for the advanced anatomy which Kak taught Abby at the age of 23 months.

How can a guy back down from that challenge (I am getting better at saying no to such challenges) but I couldn't back down this time. I summoned my courage, climbed (stepped) up on the slide, and slid down backwards. I guess I do have one after all ... I just wish my 2 and 1/2 year old didn't think she had one too.

Monday, February 04, 2008

I am up at 1:54 AM because ...

a. I am crying and I wet my diaper (25 years ago)
b. I peed my bed ... it happens people (22 years ago)
c. my brother and I are sneaking past my sleeping dad to our secret fort in the basement (20 years ago)
d. I am reading a book (19 years ago)
e. I am at a high school party (10 years ago)
f. I can (9 years ago)
f(1). I am studying for the make it or break it statistics test (8 years ago)
g. I am talking to my unknown-at-the-time future wife (8 years ago)
h. I am wasting time playing Ultima Online (8 years ago)
i. I am boxing Derrick (8 years ago)
j. I am working out to lose 3 more pounds to make weight for wrestling (6 years ago)
k. I am in Romania and because of the time change, I was always up then (4 years ago)
l. I am watching the midnight premier of Star Wars Episode III (3 years ago)
m. Abby is up crying (2 years ago)
n. Luke is up crying (now)

Funny how things progress. On the bright side ... I guess I won't be able to hold Luke and give him a bottle forever. Might as well enjoy it while I can.